was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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