I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
