dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
