if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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