im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
