your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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