Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
