Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All the doctor said was why
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
