If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
