man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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