I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
