i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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