So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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