Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
MIDGETS
????
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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