I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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