I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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