it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
