I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
