Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
