Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
