So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Randomize
