you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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