All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
