HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
