I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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