Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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