You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
