I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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