We're like a lot better than the average bears
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
