I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
