You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
