you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
