Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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