She is in my trunk
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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