I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize