You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i came on her dog
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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