Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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