I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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