another moral hangover. fuck.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
