I'm going to jail i love you
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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