hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize