He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
