I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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