You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
