You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
