I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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