I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
