This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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