I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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