I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
